


Escape (Piña Colada)

by DodgerBear



Series: The Honeymoon Period [1]
Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-17
Updated: 2019-01-17
Packaged: 2019-10-11 15:02:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17449259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DodgerBear/pseuds/DodgerBear
Summary: If you like piña coladas and gettin caught in the rain...





	Escape (Piña Colada)

 

Mickey Milkovich never thought he’d ever see the ocean. Any ocean. If it wasn’t located in Southside, Chicago the chances are it was never going to be seen in real life. The first time he left the state of Illinois was to go on a collection run with his brothers and resulted in them being picked up by a couple of Gary, Indiana’s finest detectives. Luckily Mickey was only nine years old so he was young enough to avoid incarceration but he did end up in foster care for three months. After that he swore never to leave the Chicago city limits ever again. 

 

Now here he was. Pushing 30 years old and gazing out onto crystal clear waters from his spot on warm, white sandy beach.  Life was funny sometimes. 

 

“Hey Mick. I found the cabana bar. Got us some drinks.”

Mickey roused from his doze in the sunshine at the sound of his husband’s voice. 

His husband. 

Fuck, life really is a trip sometimes. 

He sat up and turned to Ian, a scowl darkening his features when he saw what Ian was carrying. 

“Fuck, Ian. You really gotta _announce_ to the whole of Mexico that we’re a couple of fags? _Really_?”

Ian chuckled in his carefree way. He never did give much consideration to what people thought of him. 

“It’s just a drink, Mick. Not like you’re bent over a sun lounger with my dick up your ass.”

“That might actually be preferable.” 

“Preferable huh? Big words.” Ian mocked and passed Mickey the huge glass. 

Mickey glared mutinously at the offending beverage. The cocktail was white with a large pink paper umbrella and a twirly straw sticking out, as well as a huge chunk of pineapple wedged around the rim of the glass. 

“The fuck is this?”

Ian rolled his eyes. “It’s a piña colada. You know...like the song...”

Mickey couldn’t believe it when Ian began to sing quietly and sway on the spot. 

“ _If you like piña coladas, and gettin caught in the rain_...”

“The fuck are you doing? Are you off your meds?” Mickey looked around to see if anyone was watching. 

Nobody was. Everyone was relaxing, enjoying their time on the beach and not paying any attention to the gangly redhead. 

“It’s just rum mixed with pineapple juice and coconut milk.” Ian told him. “Drink it.”

“Looks like jizz.”

“Funny you should say that...the reason I picked this one is because there was a guy at the bar and he told me pineapple changes the taste of your jizz. I wanted to test it out.” 

The expression on Mickey’s face was a picture. His eyebrows raised until they were almost in his hairline and he rolled his tongue against his bottom lip. With wide eyes he glared at Ian. 

“Oh? And how does the taste of jizz just come up in conversation at a bar huh?”

Ian grinned back at his husband. “I think he was flirting with me.”

“Where is the fucker? Where the fuck does he get off talking to you like...”

Ian cut Mickey off from his rant by kissing him quickly and briefly. 

“Long gone. But I love that you get jealous.”

“Jealous my ass.” 

Mickey took a gulp of his drink. “Tastes like...”

Ian waited patiently for the rest to come. 

“...absolute shit. Jesus Christ Ian. Too much trouble to get me a beer?”

“Fine! I’ll get you a beer. Fucking hell Mick. You’re such a whiny bitch.” Ian growled and stomped off along the beach. 

Belatedly, Mickey realised he’d sent Ian back in the direction of the pervert at the bar. 

“Hey wait up! I’ll come too.” Mickey chased after Ian while trying not to spill any of the shitty cocktails he was holding. 

 

An hour later Mickey was feeling nicely buzzed, thanks to the beers he’d sunk in the sunshine. He lay on the sand next to Ian under the shade of a parasol. Ian was dozing off, thoroughly buzzed too after downing four piña coladas in a couple of hours. 

“My lips feel tingly.” Mickey murmured. 

The redhead stirred. “Hmm?”

“My lips feel weird. Must be strong beer down here.” Mickey giggled. 

Ian grinned and stretched out like a cat. “Mmm...I’m really horny.”

“Alcohol and sunshine. Killer combo.” Mickey smirked and reached for Ian’s hand to hold. 

“There’s nobody around...let’s sneak into the shower hut and fool around...” Ian bit his lip teasingly and palmed his dick through his shorts. 

Mickey looked around the beach and found they were the only people still around for a good stretch. “Seriously?”

Ian nodded firmly. “Wanna suck your dick so bad.”

 

As far as blowjobs go it wasn’t the best. It wasn’t even the best Mickey’d had that week. But a blowjob was like pizza. Even bad blowjobs are still good. Ian giggled his way through it but Mickey still managed to come down the younger man’s throat in less than three minutes. Two minutes later Mickey jerked Ian off until he came in his hand. It was sloppy, messy and reminded both men of earlier days when they had to fool around like this. 

“Let’s go back to the hotel and get cleaned up.” Ian kissed Mickey softly. 

“We’re in a shower cubicle, genius.” Mickey huffed. 

“I know. But we don’t have any lube and I got a real fancy for a shower fuck.” Ian beamed. 

“Let’s go.” 

 

It didn’t take long for Mickey to realise something was very wrong. 

“Ian...there’s something wrong with my dick...”

They were only a minute away from their hotel but Ian didn’t wait. 

“What’s wrong with it?” 

“It’s burning!”

Ian watched helplessly as Mickey doubled over in agony. “Mick...you okay? Come on. We’re nearly back...”

The pair staggered back to their room and Mickey immediately dropped his shorts. 

“Holy fucking shit.” Ian gasped. “What the hell happened?”

Mickey went to the full length mirror and went pale at the sight of his own penis. It was an angry shade of red with lumps and bumps all over it. The stinging burn was agony. 

“We need to get you to a doctor.” Ian leapt into action. 

 

The doctor was a tiny man, no more than five foot tall, with very cold hands. Mickey never envisaged being happy about another man other than Ian touching his dick but the coolness was a welcome relief to the burning feeling. 

“What the fuck have you done to me Gallagher? You given me some kinda disease? Fuck Ian it hurts so bad. What have you done?” Mickey groaned. 

Ian stared at him in silent horror. He was clean. He _knew_ for sure. They were both just tested before they left Chicago. What was going on?

The doctor waved his hand dismissively and spoke in blunt, heavily accented English. 

“It no disease. It allergy. Need antihistamine injection in the hip. You be fine soon.”

Mickey absorbed that information. “I don’t have allergies...”

“You have something different here?” The doctor quizzed. 

“Nah...just had burgers and beers today...it was this dork trying out the cocktails.” 

“Cocktails?”

“A piña colada...” Ian replied. 

Mickey shook his head. “I only had a sip. Didn’t like it. Tasted like suncream.”

The doctor glanced at Ian and smirked. “But you did drink, yes?”

Ian nodded innocently. 

“And then you...” 

With a wave of the doctor’s hand both Ian and Mickey realised exactly what had occurred. 

“Are you fuckin kidding me?” Ian groused angrily. 

“You broke my dick with a blowjob? What the fuck?” Mickey shrieked. 

The doctor tried to hide his smile but failed miserably. Instead he busied himself setting up the syringe with the much needed relief. 

“This will scratch. Hurt for one minute.”

Mickey pointed at his tender crotch area. “Not gonna come close to the volcano situation I’ve got goin on down here Doc.”

 

“How do you get to almost 30 without realising you’re allergic to pineapple?” Ian frowned hours later when Mickey emerged from the cold water bath. The swelling had gone down and there was definitely less lumps but it was still a furious red colouring. 

“Oh I’m sorry Mr Fancy. I didn’t have grandpas putting me up in the presidential suite and feeding me exotic fruit from a silver platter.” Mickey snapped. “Just leave me alone okay.” 

“Come on Mick. I’m sorry. I didn’t realise it was gonna hurt you. Let me apply your lotion.”

“Fuck off. If I get a boner I’ll actually die.”

“So dramatic.” Ian grinned. 

 

_And that is the cautionary tale of how a blowjob and a pineapple ruined the honeymoon of Ian and Mickey Milkovich._


End file.
